The Narrator role calls for a mature but not “old” sounding voice. It seems to call for a male voice but could be female. I think the main need is for a wise voice not easily flustered.
AUDITION SCRIPT:
“Welcome…to… Blue Acres! Where nuts grow fruits!
Set in a little town in Southwest Michigan, a couple of hours from Chicago.
You have to live a long time to learn this: Sometimes one single action can affect the lives of you and your family in unexpected ways.
That a plot of land becomes the plot of a story that lasts for generations. A five acre plot of land in the woods, to be exact.
We start back in the early 1970s, when America was in the midst of its first energy crisis. Mike Orsi had a young family and was starting to get antsy about finding a place to escape the big city on weekends.”
Most of the characters in Blue Acres are classic normal Midwesterners with voices to match. The script is driven forward by the narrator who often sets the scene or makes comments. Characters often jump into a scene unexpectedly to offer quips or comments. There are also quick scene changes through the use of music zingers.
Blue Acres is Jake’s story. He’s 29, been knocking around on gig jobs since he got out of college. He’s smart, impetuous, but sometimes distracted. He is a true mix of mature and immature. That said, he is a normal kind of guy with not too many hang ups. A handy, guitar playing young single guy, looking to find his place in the world.
AUDITION SCRIPT:
“I grew up on the Northwest side of Chicago – they call it the Bungalow belt – went to Catholic schools. I was a trouble maker in high school but I got a letter in wrestling, then went off to Wyoming for college. Worked summers doing trail construction for the Forest Service, learned to play guitar. Had a band.
Yeah, but you know, farming is big now. The farmers markets are busy.
Growing stuff is in. Organics and non GMO’s and all that stuff. Part of that whole food movement thing.
So, that was my introduction to farming. Twinkle and I ended up at the cabin, batting away no-see-ums, staring at the fire, listening to peepers serenade us. She continued telling me how bad farming was and I shook my head up and down. But the more she bad mouthed it, the more excited I got…. about her….and about being a farmer.
Between Twinkle’s lady-like snoring and the sound of the spring peepers, my restless dreams in the smelly trailer turned to a lot of worrying about how I was going to make money with this farming venture.
As the business school types say, my burn rate was pretty high…I was eating through savings quickly, the berries wouldn’t be ready for at least another month or more, the price I would be getting would barely cover my expenses for a couple of months. There were business expenses also – getting pickers to pick the berries, taxes, electric, overpriced tractor mechanics and so on.
Before going back hat-in-hand to Toni for some day work again in construction, I needed to come up with a plan….”
Twinkle is an adventuresome 20-something farm escapee from Grand Rapids who meets Jake in the big city, where she is tending bar in Wicker Park. And while she quickly falls for Jake, she knows enough about farming to be wary and concerned about his ambitions, pratfalls and progress.
AUDITION SCRIPT:
“Jake, get a grip! You can’t have all kinds of animals running around here!
Some mangy mutt wanders in, he’s your new b-f-f. Now you’re telling me you want to have chickens. Next, it’ll be goats or pigs…Do you want to farm blueberries or be old McDonald? May I refer you back to Podcast number one? I told you then that yours- truly was born and raised on a dairy farm.
That means animals…. Cows, smelly cows. LOTS of them. And yes, we also had goats and pigs and even chickens. I started out at 5 years old feeding chickens, moved up a couple of years later to pigs, then goats, then mucking the milking parlor.
But we never had to worry about u-pickers walking over chicken poop, Jake. You’ve got to look ahead, to what’s going to be happening in the coming weeks.
You’re growing fruit for people to come by and pick. That doesn’t go well with chickens. And they’ll poop everywhere.
I know you think you can come up with some kind of movable hen house for them and that’ll solve the problem. But do you realize how busy you’re going to be once your season gets going? When will you make these traveling poop machines?“
Think Johnny Appleseed smoking a joint. Johnny Appleweed? Delbert is slow talking Maine-born hippie, who stops at the farm on a cross country bicycle trip to the West Coast. Admittedly, we go a bit overboard with cannabis jokes because that is the kind of farming he aspires to , but as time passes Delbert shows a natural smartness and temperament that balances the rest of the cast.
AUDITION SCRIPT:
“Saw you folks sittin’ in the sunshine and thought I’d stop and say Hi. Name is Delbert Long and am biking cross country on back roads.
I’m looking for a place to stop tonight. Running a little short on cash. By the way, you got some chores for me to earn a little extra bread? Actually, I’m planning on getting a place out west somewhere when I finish this trip and grow some weed. Been reading up on it and…
I’m pretty toughened up. I can handle hard work. I’ve been averaging 60 miles a day. All kinds of weather.”
Anne is a youthful 50-something mom of three who is itching to step back into the world marketing that she left to become a mom. Jake has strong respect for her wisdom.
AUDITION SCRIPT:
“Our son is most likely going to be asking again for a loan, you know.
Well, the fact is, he’s going to need to have a day job for a while until he can build up his business. He’s got a small farm. He’s going to need to be creative in making it profitable. The answer for him I think is “retail” – sell directly to the public, forget the processer. I’m not a genius, I ‘m looking around the market here and see ideas for blueberries everywhere. You need to get to know your fruit.”
Mike is concerned that his college investment in his son Jake is not paying off and wants to get him settled in life. He is a guy who often doesn’t get credit for his forward thinking but he’s the one who gets Jake launched.
AUDITION SCRIPT:
“I wasn’t antsy, I just wanted my kids to experience nature the way I did as a kid -vacations in the Wisconsin Dells, Scout camping trips, family travels to various parks. That kind of stuff.
Highways back then were sporting new signs that posted a speed limit of 55 miles per hour. So, I took a map of the Midwest and drew a 150 mile radius from the Chicago, which would be about three hours away.
I make a point of never being up here in Michigan around Thanksgiving. That’s deer season. And I don’t get all this bonding talk about hunting. It’s just about the drinking and the shooting. Like the afternoons here all year round.
I call them the “ATF Hour” Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms. Drinking, smoking and shooting. Basically at nothing.
There are some weird things here, I admit. Like why does everyone have a name that starts with the letter “L?” Larry, Lucy, Lonnie, Lyle?”
There are lots of them in this podcast. Record at least three of the following male or female roles, if you didn’t already record for Delbert, Annie or Mike above:
AUDITION SCRIPT:
“Now, walk where I’m walking, it’s pretty muddy here. These are called jersey blueberries. They’re small, sweet and come in around mid-July. You know you really can’t farm without pesticides – Japanese beetles, fungus, all kinds of pests. If the price for this property seems a little high, then make an offer. You know I really like the idea of a young guy taking over. We got too many old men in farming. None of my kids were interested.”
AUDITION SCRIPT:
“Yes, Living the Dream. Well, yes, I’m on the city council and yes, my votes are for sale. Just kidding. Fruitville is called Fruitville because a hundred years ago, more or less, a government bureaucrat figured out this here area was perfect for strawberries and peaches and blueberries and apples and…well, let me assure you that we usually deal with a better cliental but today is Monday and all our sports teams lost over the weekend.”
AUDITION SCRIPT:
“My guys are pretty busy. Lots of berries this year. You want them to pick Sunday? Maybe need to pay more money for weekend. Maybe dollar a pound. They will have to miss church – two times. They go Catholic church in morning for breakfast and Pentacostal in evening for dinner. Very busy. Maybe they pick for you, you give them lunch?”
AUDITION SCRIPT:
“Believe me, cabbage-flavored breath mints really work. I see you’re hesitant but what if I told you that my partner and I are just inches away from getting some serious venture capital for a whole new line of organic sauerkraut? The Michigan SPA – sauerkraut producers association – is holding a shark tank event our fall meeting in Frankfurt and we we’re in it… and…”
AUDITION SCRIPT:
“Hey, he took my cigarettes! Teddy took ‘em! I want them back! Picking is easy, nothing to it. Just like taking my cigarettes, like you just did Teddy. You started it. They were right here in my left…oh, right pocket. Sorry.”
AUDITION SCRIPT:
“Hi, this is Perk Penny Pullwater, 3-P for short, your host this week on Michigan Shooting Sports. Tonight we have three great hunting stories. Our first stop is mid-state in a town called Bear Wallow where we drop in on a group of friends helping their buddy nail his first black bear. Looks like the dogs got a big one treed. Good works, pups. Now it’s up to Bill to put down that paper sack he’s been pulling from and finish him off. Oh, would you believe he missed the big fellow. Well, let’s give it another try!”
AUDITION SCRIPT:
“Nice to meet you, Jake. I’m afraid we already have a blueberry seller here. There’s only so much demand for blueberries. We do have some special events you could apply for… like the inclusion festival. Of course there’s a hundred dollar application fee and you must have a food server’s license and you may have to be interviewed by our board. They’re pretty particular about who gets accepted.”
AUDITION SCRIPT:
“There were so many bugs out there. We ended up using two cans of bug spray, but getting organic berries is what we came for. Trevor, your sister says you peed on a bush! Shame on you. Hey, Trevor, Roll the window down on the range rover and listen to me. Your sister picked a whole handful. Listen, we’re here for the experience. Put down that iPad and come out here and pick, damn it!”
AUDITION SCRIPT:
“Shaddup! Listen to the man explain. Why you want me to fill out some paper? I ain’t putting my name down on anything. Why do you want me to list my experience. I’ve been picking berries my whole life. That’s all you need to know. I’m gonna need cash whenever I pick. Gotta have gas for the next day.
AUDITION SCRIPT:
“Oh, those little goats are sooo cute. Look, one just jumped on your butt… you could probably get his brother and sister on it too. Ha ha. Look at this little guy…. He’s running under my boobies. Feels sooo good. What’s that… here comes one with horns…. No, no!”